In the mid-2000s I had the privilege of working with Professor James Sarros at Monash University conducting research on leadership. One of the projects involved exploring factors that have contributed to the success of 19 high profile Asian women
The research found all 19 participants exhibited key traits including self-confidence, a strong sense of self and a belief in one’s capacity to excel, determination and a belief in the good of people.
The foundations for the confidence exhibited by the Asian women stemmed from their experience in their early family life where they experienced a supportive environment where traditional gender roles were largely absent. During their upbringing they reported they were actively encouraged to pursue their own interests and had fathers who nurtured and championed them to be the best they could be.
I have since been fascinated by the role parents, and in particular fathers, play in the professional success of women.
In her book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know Meg Meeker, MD. argues:“Fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for a daughter’s life.” Meeker argues daughters often follow their father’s behaviours and that fathers, whether they are aware of this or not, lead by example.
Meeker is quoted in a 2010 Forbes magazine article: "A father has authority with a capital A," says Meeker, who says she was influenced by her own father to go into medicine. "From the first years of a girl's life her father is larger than life. She looks up to him, and for the rest of her life she craves his admiration, his respect and his affection." Meeker believes that if admiration, respect and affection are present and reciprocated in the father-daughter relationship, they are the recipe for a successful woman.
Other studies have found fathers have a direct impact on their daughter’s sense of self-esteem, life satisfaction, career choices, mental health, body image, mate selection and social confidence, as well as their ability to handle psychological distress.
The power of positive father-daughter relationships is regularly illustrated in the media. I found the case of Nobel Peace Prize winner Malala Yousafzai inspiring. In 2012, at the age of 15, Malala Yousafzai was shot by the Taliban for her stand on the rights of girls to get an education. In 2014, Malala Yousafzai became the youngest-ever Nobel laureate.
Malala says of her father “My father made me realize that my voice was powerful,” while her father, Ziauddin Yousafzai argues his daughter is who she is: "Because I didn't clip her wings”. “I am one of the few fathers who is known by his daughter, and I’m proud of it.
Closer to home, former Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, is quoted in the Sydney Morning Herald as saying she would not have become prime minister, had her father not instilled her with Labor values, and a belief in the value of education. Gillard remembers her father as being deeply interested in her political career, and in politics in general. Gillard says: "He felt more deeply than me, in many ways, some of the personal attacks, that we face in the business of politics, but I was always able to reassure him that he had raised a daughter with sufficient strength not to let that get her down."
In 2017 I had the opportunity to interview seven senior Australian police executives for an international conference for women in policing. Once again, I was struck by the positive experiences and encouragement these women had of from their fathers and from senior male colleagues. Words and phrases these women typically used in describing their fathers included: “supportive”, “encouraging”, ‘interested in me” “can do” “of course you can” “believed me” “role model”.
Quote from these women on their reflections of their fathers included:
“Dad has always been a big fan. He showed me a lot of love and told me how proud he is of me. He loved me coming home and telling stories (about work). Dad is very intelligent and well read. I’m very close to Dad; he has always been very supportive. I never got an impression that I couldn’t do something or there was a barrier to it”.
“My father taught me a lot and I inculcated his business sense, humility and integrity”.
“I had a strong relationship with my father; I grew up in a very safe and inclusive environment. I think that impacts career success.”
“There was very limited discussion about what you can’t do; the focus was on what you can do.”
“My father was always encouraging and we would have adult conversations. We’d talk about things, he was interested in homework and discussing those types of things. I never felt held back. There was an attitude we could do what we wanted to do.”
The women I interviewed also seemed to find and engage with the men who were supportive and encouraging. This is not to say they didn’t encounter difficult men, but they did not let such encounters prevent them from progressing in their careers. Comments included:
“Many of my mentors were older males / father-type figures who were supportive and encouraging. Subconsciously you want to do well for them and feel that they are proud of what you are doing for the organisation. This seems important particularly in the early part of your career.”
“I was regularly encouraged to put in for roles by my male managers. I felt supported and encouraged by men throughout my career.”
Now to honouring my own father and his positive impact on my professional life.
My own Dad was an incredibly caring man who always encouraged me. He ensured all his children had access to educational opportunities and encouraged us to pursue our chosen professions. My Dad sat through my five tertiary graduation ceremonies (what a commitment) and actively showed an interest in my career. Even as he lay dying in late 2021 he listened to my professional challenges often providing sage advice; he was always championing my efforts and being supportive. I sat with Dad as he drew his last breath on 5 November 2021; it was such a privilege to be able to reciprocate all he had done for me by supporting him as he departed this world.
I need to add my Mum was also incredibly supportive. So too were the mothers of most of the women I have interviewed. But of late I think men seem to be getting just a little too much bad press and I feel impelled to call attention to the many wonderful men in this world.
While my Dad has passed away he will remain a critical influence in my professional life and success. There are many other men out there who also quietly and enthusiastically encourage their professional daughters. They deserve our applause.